Find your happy road

I think... (oh no! here goes)

I think life is beautiful.

Watch out what colored glasses you are wearing darling! For you see the world through them.

Life is beautiful because of the impermanence of time and that things change... even when we don't want them to. And because things change, the bad goes away and the good comes and then the good leaves and sends the better in our way. and then we spend the rest of the time chasing the best and realise the best is not a stop, its just a pause in time until you better yourself from the last time. That's why my friend life is beautiful.

An odd mixture of tears and laughter makes the perfect cookie.

Don't brood my friend coz you are here for a while. And because you wont last forever, find what makes you happy. And do that my friend because life is short when it comes to happiness. that's why we never feel the clock ticking with our eyes shut tight and gurgling laughter pouring out and happy tears getting squeezed out from the corners of our eyes.

Find your happy road!

Lets stay - You & I

Lets be together
You and I
In this time and space
Wet green grass peeking from between our toes
The smell of rain soaked breeze
The big blue ocean above
White curly clouds afloat like icebergs
And not a sound that's human
Just a serene silence
And the comfort of good company
You and I
No questions floating in the head
An unhurried sense of time
A sense of space in togetherness
No roads and no road maps
Just time and a good place to rest
Enveloped we stand in our own togetherness
You and I
At a time and place
That feels it was waiting for us forever
And we are here now
Lets stay awhile
Lets hold this breeze in the cups of our palms
Lets tie the sky to a rope and drag it back with us
Lets put the smell of rain in green glass bottles
Lets stay with these moments
You and I

What Is Love To You?

What is Love to you?

Love is taking a bite of that gorgeous cinnamon cake in the middle of the night without putting on the light and discovering that you accidentally ate veggie pie and then liking it anyway.

Love is an odd mixture of hits and misses. Preferably more hits than misses.

Love is soaring height and steep falls all put together.

Love is following a road that seems right.

Love is liking the other - warts and all.

Love is driving a car with two steering wheels and trying to stay on the road.

Love is forgiveness and kindness.

Love is respecting. Respecting - space, individuality, religion, sexuality.

Love is trust.

Love is also hope while the future unfolds.

Love is fear of loss.

Love is selfish.

........The rest is yet to reveal itself to me!

What A Wonderful Life!

I think its never too early to talk about childhood. Especially if its your own.

All I remember from mine is lots of green grass, stones and boulders of all shapes and textures, weird smells from the middle pages of new books, erasers with dark edges, texture of wet mud, skinned knees (lots of them), the shape of my mother's palm and the sound it made when it touched my cheek (at either end), my English teacher who never smiled, spellings and meanings of words that I didn't like, looking up your latest crush's phone numbers in the directory, looking at grown ups with awe, lots and lots of open sky, lots of idle time, listening to crickets in the garden at night.

Had I known, I would've torn and framed grass spots from my clothes. Captured the sound of my mothers slap in a box and kept it on my table. Tucked away all the speacial treats that were made in the kitchen when we were studying very hard.

Time passes slowly every time I get a hug from my loved ones. In fact it seems to stop for just a moment for me to put it in a box and bury it deep in my heart for the inevitable winter that will arrive.

The balance of life is beautiful. It constantly changes things. When your journey makes you leave a stop and move on its only because another beautiful town is waiting for you.

S says some day long into the future, we will stop and look back at these days and say - what a wonderful life!

Amen!

A View From The Top

आसमान की बुलंदी पे

बनाया हमने अपना आशियाँ

कुछ दरवाज़े कुछ खिड़कियाँ

ईंट पत्थर का हमारा मकां

फिर पूछा हमने अपने साए से

क्या खोया क्या पाया इस राह पे

Yesterday I visited the most posh residentials towers under construction in Mumbai. The tallest for sure and superbly luxurious. This was a work related visit. The person I met showed me a computer generated image of the building and was very proud to show me the location of the penthouse. My eyebrows disappeared to my head when he casually mentioned the price range. On my way back from the meeting I was wondering, how many property owners in this tower will stand in their luxurious super expensive flat and say to themselves, I deserve it and I have done no wrong to get here. The percentage of such people in my mind is quite small. Probably a single digit figure. And then a second thought occurred, no matter if you stay on the 55th floor or the pent house, you still have to go to the basement to get your car and then you have to share the same road as the rest of us and you still have to drive past shanties to get to the airport and you still share the same sunlight and the same air and ultimately, you too will die and leave behind a very expensive property and lets hope you die a happy person. That last bit is as important as the happiness of being able to afford a property like this.

I was happy to see this building. To me it represents the eternal human struggle to rise. Well in this case it takes 41 elevators to get there.

I was happy to see this project. Maybe I was just happy to see ambition. Somebody's thought translated to reality. Just the building itself as if saying to god, I am here. I was not awed by the wealth. It was something else that attracted me. I think it was the power of ambition. In that one moment I was not aware of the snob value of that place or the arrogance of the owners. Nothing. All I saw was mans struggle to be more than he is.

Random Thoughts

The world is full of endless possibilities. Whether I am able to see these possibilities depends on how I am using my heart and my head. There are things like hope and faith that modern science would at best try to link with certain chemicals produced by the body to fight whatever it is faced with.

All of the best things of God are free and within reach to everyone. And yet we concentrate on those that remain outside our grasp. When the mind is still, the most troublesome of questions are the most simple ones. Am I happy today? What is my fear now? Why am I sad? And then the mother of all of them - What do I want? Sometimes it takes me days and a lot of silence to get answers. I have come to realise that fear is my biggest enemy. It has in past deprived me of the joy of hope and faith and unlimited happiness. Whenever I have conquered fear I have felt in control and have sensed life as an adventure. But then there are bad days too when the world at large is grey and hopeless. Reading newspapers today can be very depressing but it doesn't have to be. I believe there is always a way to handle anything, I just need to find it.

I have a few goals and whenever I get lost in my plans to achieve them, I find myself excited like a kid on his birthday, the hair on my arm stand on ends, my voice trembles. I will inshallah achieve those goals. I know it. But there is one sure shot way of not getting there. That road is called fear of the unknown.

आउट ऑफ़ माई माइंड

एक ख़ामोशी की तलाश में चले जा रहे हैं हम
कभी अपने साथ कभी अकेले
कुछ नए से रस्ते
कुछ साथी पुराने

The mind is never still. Never quiet. I take deep breaths to make it still. Close my eyes and stay alert to the breath that enters my nose and leaves the same way. Seconds tick by. The eyes remain closed. My mind is an expert in drawing up images behind closed eyes. Realization of dreaming brings me back to my task of observing my own breath. Admonishing my clever mind to not think.
Its so hard... to not think. And so peaceful when I do so even if that state remains for few minutes. A blank mind that is aware of nothing but the body it occupies. That for me is bliss. The universe within is beautiful but seldom visited.
Being lonely and being alone are two very different things. I am with myself so much that I don't miss being alone. Yes I feel lonely in my own company sometimes. But such is life. And its beautiful.
Life is rich in experience. Time and years, thoughts and feelings, places, god and much more.
Even though I have an occupation, I am thinking that it should not be my identity. I am much more than what I do. Judgement, the fallacy of the human lot. We so often are quick to judge. An ability to accept without judgement is something that I struggle with and often fail. Someone who may not be making too much money, someone who doesn't have the best job on earth, someone who has so and so caste, religion. All these are boxes where we want to shove the people we meet. I hope I learn to consistently accept without judgement. Accept that which I do not like.