I was and still am immensely amused by the way Helen Fielding's Bridget got along in the society which clearly divides the haves (in this case the woman having a husband) and the have nots! I remember thinking, India is different! I was right. But experience says different doesn't mean better.....
.......... There is no way to bridge the gap.... honestly ..would I want to cross over and ask that entire generation of sixty-somethings about why exactly do they pity the single woman..... while all that generally happens is that the happily marrieds! involve happiness of only the parents of the couple.... No, I am not saying there are no married folks who are truly happy.... its just that I've seen an astonishingly large numbers stuck in marriage......
Its only the truly happy ones that keep my faith alive in the institution and the belief that it should be done only when ur heart feels its right and not just your head!
Picture this (Complete fiction but very apt!):
[Mother's friend above fifty yrs in age : MF
ME: ME]
MF: beta how are u?
ME: I am fine aunty. thank you. How are you?
MF: I am fine too....so... how is work....(at this point i can see the wheels churning in her head and i know whats coming next)
ME: Doing well... got another promotion
MF: Congrats..... ab sab to kar liya.... shaadi kab karogi?
ME: ...ummmm...
I am ready to believe those who say that they got married coz they were fed up of the questions coming their way....... I will so believe them!
..... I cant imagine the pressure on those poor souls in varanasi, firozpur, kanpur, latur, indore, or other such smaller cities where everyones business is up for discussion......and action.
.......... I know its not any better for single men..... they too hear a lot of "ab shaadi kar hi lo!"
When a woman says no to marriage she is being choosy. Yes she is. So???? Whoever said that she couldn't?
Single life is beautiful. It gives you time to make a career, take care of parents, make and keep friends, be free to travel, adopt babies, have affairs, flirt like mad, work extra hours, not keep the mom-in-law happy by having a spotless home, not feel guilty if you don't cook and lots more.
No ... I am not anti-marriage.... I am just not ready to link it with the clock!
Yes I do fear being alone. But I've learnt that fear is almost as strong a driving force as love or hate......
I love and enjoy the language I see exchanged between friends who got married to each other post-falling-in-love! Its beautiful and its heartwarming. But then I have also seen people who get lonely when they are with lots of people in a room including their spouses.
In life ...we always always always have a choice.... sometimes we make it consciously.... sometimes not.
I choose my own way.... and am not afraid of making mistakes..... at least they'd be mine..... one hundred percent original!
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