Tuesday, January 26, 2010

A View From The Top

आसमान की बुलंदी पे

बनाया हमने अपना आशियाँ

कुछ दरवाज़े कुछ खिड़कियाँ

ईंट पत्थर का हमारा मकां

फिर पूछा हमने अपने साए से

क्या खोया क्या पाया इस राह पे

Yesterday I visited the most posh residentials towers under construction in Mumbai. The tallest for sure and superbly luxurious. This was a work related visit. The person I met showed me a computer generated image of the building and was very proud to show me the location of the penthouse. My eyebrows disappeared to my head when he casually mentioned the price range. On my way back from the meeting I was wondering, how many property owners in this tower will stand in their luxurious super expensive flat and say to themselves, I deserve it and I have done no wrong to get here. The percentage of such people in my mind is quite small. Probably a single digit figure. And then a second thought occurred, no matter if you stay on the 55th floor or the pent house, you still have to go to the basement to get your car and then you have to share the same road as the rest of us and you still have to drive past shanties to get to the airport and you still share the same sunlight and the same air and ultimately, you too will die and leave behind a very expensive property and lets hope you die a happy person. That last bit is as important as the happiness of being able to afford a property like this.

I was happy to see this building. To me it represents the eternal human struggle to rise. Well in this case it takes 41 elevators to get there.

I was happy to see this project. Maybe I was just happy to see ambition. Somebody's thought translated to reality. Just the building itself as if saying to god, I am here. I was not awed by the wealth. It was something else that attracted me. I think it was the power of ambition. In that one moment I was not aware of the snob value of that place or the arrogance of the owners. Nothing. All I saw was mans struggle to be more than he is.

Random Thoughts

The world is full of endless possibilities. Whether I am able to see these possibilities depends on how I am using my heart and my head. There are things like hope and faith that modern science would at best try to link with certain chemicals produced by the body to fight whatever it is faced with.

All of the best things of God are free and within reach to everyone. And yet we concentrate on those that remain outside our grasp. When the mind is still, the most troublesome of questions are the most simple ones. Am I happy today? What is my fear now? Why am I sad? And then the mother of all of them - What do I want? Sometimes it takes me days and a lot of silence to get answers. I have come to realise that fear is my biggest enemy. It has in past deprived me of the joy of hope and faith and unlimited happiness. Whenever I have conquered fear I have felt in control and have sensed life as an adventure. But then there are bad days too when the world at large is grey and hopeless. Reading newspapers today can be very depressing but it doesn't have to be. I believe there is always a way to handle anything, I just need to find it.

I have a few goals and whenever I get lost in my plans to achieve them, I find myself excited like a kid on his birthday, the hair on my arm stand on ends, my voice trembles. I will inshallah achieve those goals. I know it. But there is one sure shot way of not getting there. That road is called fear of the unknown.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

आउट ऑफ़ माई माइंड

एक ख़ामोशी की तलाश में चले जा रहे हैं हम
कभी अपने साथ कभी अकेले
कुछ नए से रस्ते
कुछ साथी पुराने

The mind is never still. Never quiet. I take deep breaths to make it still. Close my eyes and stay alert to the breath that enters my nose and leaves the same way. Seconds tick by. The eyes remain closed. My mind is an expert in drawing up images behind closed eyes. Realization of dreaming brings me back to my task of observing my own breath. Admonishing my clever mind to not think.
Its so hard... to not think. And so peaceful when I do so even if that state remains for few minutes. A blank mind that is aware of nothing but the body it occupies. That for me is bliss. The universe within is beautiful but seldom visited.
Being lonely and being alone are two very different things. I am with myself so much that I don't miss being alone. Yes I feel lonely in my own company sometimes. But such is life. And its beautiful.
Life is rich in experience. Time and years, thoughts and feelings, places, god and much more.
Even though I have an occupation, I am thinking that it should not be my identity. I am much more than what I do. Judgement, the fallacy of the human lot. We so often are quick to judge. An ability to accept without judgement is something that I struggle with and often fail. Someone who may not be making too much money, someone who doesn't have the best job on earth, someone who has so and so caste, religion. All these are boxes where we want to shove the people we meet. I hope I learn to consistently accept without judgement. Accept that which I do not like.

Friday, January 1, 2010

What a beautiful ride is Love.
Takes you where ever you choose to go.