To S ...who knows what to ask.........

We left Pune amidst heavy downpour, The rain gods were at it good....

S & I were comfortably dry in the volvo.....

Both lost in our own worlds.... Already missing mum n dad.... who I am sure were feeling the same way.

Then in all innocence S turned to me and said... "Shaz..what have we done... in life"

That was not such a good topic to bring up..... Coz since then ... I have been troubled by it to no small measure.

"what have I done in life"..... hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Sure ... theres a great job... a nice comfortable bank a/c.... everything everything... but ...... but ...

something is missing.....

If I were to leave the world tomorrow..... who would remember.... have I made a difference.... what have I given to this world which It didn't already have.....

Is there all there is....

Flashback: Age 11, Place: Kaluchak, Jammu

I was always excited..... I had so much to achieve.....like learning how to read the wall clock correctly, knowing how much change I should get from the grocery store owner, I knew every single patch of earth in my garden and all around my house, I knew every kid in the colony, I had to figure out the mystery behind those freshly ironed clothes that suddenly disappear from the bathroom and reappear in my closet, or I had to find that boy who was sitting near that button from where he controlled whether or not to send electricity in our colony...... I wanted to know what is the final end.... that if the universe didn't exist...what would be there?
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Now, I don't know what my own country is like.... I haven't been to leh yet, I have only seen a handful of states, I don't know what Australia is like or the kind of food people eat in Africa.

The best years of our lives, S and I are spending in traffic jams and meetings and mumbai pune expressway.

I still haven't done any social work, I have stopped sketching, I manage a little bit of writing and thats all....

I don't remember the last time I made a new friend.....

Cause.... I am spending the best years of my life in traffic, meetings, and other stuff which nobody remembers....

hmmmmmmmmmmm.......

So what will S and I do.......

We may not go to Australia but we may just run away to Goa or Kerela....... :)

And I will do that social work..... I will.... I will...... I will..........