Boundries Etched in Time

Time is a relative thing.....

Some people count minutes, some count days, some people count years.... and for some .. the count is in lifetimes.....

I read Brian Weiss.... he says ... all that happens in this lifetime is also linked to what happened to the soul is past lives... I find that relevant..... Somehow .. at some level... to a logic driven person such as me... this weird statement sounds true.....

Everybody whom I hold dear... are here for a while... some I may have met earlier... in another life.... and I know I will be with them again.... these are soul connections.....and somewhere I think that it was predestined all the while.... I am talking of a level of consciousness that has nothing to do with my desktop calendar......

From this plane...everything makes sense.... there is no sense of loss or loneliness.... no sadness... its a calm state of mind. The world becomes simple to understand.....

Its just that the sheer force of a tough routine pulls me away from this serenity.....

It explains why when I met AH for the first time... she and I just connected.... We've never met before but she holds a special place in my life. I can say that for a couple of people. I am very fortunate...... I have great friends.... and a loving family....

Its true.....all good things in life are free......

Of Rains and More

It rained on my thoughts today

Thoughts that were a twisted lot

Silence that stayed quiet

And words that got away

Of pace and moods

Dark clouds and dampness

Riot colored clothes drying on the line

Like little kids playing outside

Of sunday morning breakfast

Two egged omelettes and chai

Pause filled conversations

And afternoon naps

Of staying still

Of distant thoughts and people

Love from far off places

And teary goodbyes

Of growing up

All over again

Of wearing new shoes that pinch

Of surprises at every corner

The world is changing

So am I

But the more we change

The more we stay the same

The Nutcase

S is a total nut!

Now that we are roomies, she has taken on certain tasks that we both prefer that she handles. Telling the bai that she needs to clean up better... telling bai to find another job next month onwards.... asking the watchman for carpenter, plumber, dhobi details .....guiding me on train related details, blah blah......is all hers

But the best and my fav part abt living with S is the "all time entertainment" that she does free of cost. She has a set of all these false tones and accents that she uses depending on the person she is addressing, time of day, her mood and the topic.

I notice, that for me .... if I need/ want someone to know me better... I want them to meet S. She is an extension of me... carrying with her a skill set that I am born without. Its not just entertainment that she is good at. I have never seen my friends "not" like her. S has an infectious laughter and great vibes...... All is fun when she around.

We have shared a lot of jokes (on varied and vast topics) all our lives...... and the fun never stopped....

I am so lucky...... I never would need a Tv :) kidding!

But I wont be me without S.

This morning I was witness to a session where I heard S talk to mom. I know the statements mom must've made while S went on and on with her false accent.

S: Mommie ... mommie ... mommie.....gugugugugugu...
Mom: Haan Beta (With a pause waiting for the tide in S' throat to subside)


I just know this..... Our lives have never been the same since S' arrival......

She even makes fun of herself when she was a baby......

To S.... the whole world appears funny (Although that is subject to moods... coz on some days... everything just seems ****ed to her!)

Intellectual Bullshit

There are many things that go into making us who we are. A specialised role is required of us dpeneding on where we are. A person can be promoted to a higher designation on the basis of what is seen in them and by who. But every team that works with a leader goes through the proccess of adjustment. Some changes even if uncomfortable in the beginning are necessary. Earning the teams confidence is important and there is no shortcut for that and It certainly doesn't happen in one day or one week.

For someone like me who hates suprises (even the good ones), there is a new one every now and then. But then I knew that in advance.

Rock that boat.. rock that boat....... aaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

So much for intellectual bullshit......

My day yesterday was .... eventful. Hours were spent "on-site" in sweat and grime trying to make plans only to realise later that it was a waste.......

Oh and the rain...... when it rains .. it pours here!!!!! Every single thing was drippy... clothes, umbrellas, bags, shoes and some ppls conversations.........

Ctrl + Z

We never walked those roads again
For they went to places we walked away from
Silence filled those gaps in conversations
Conversations that we never had

The world kept changing and took us along
A long way from where we started
We forgot who we used to be
Now we talk to ourselves like cordial friends

We didn't see us and we didn't see the time ahead
We didn't even see what we had
Lost confused souls
Silently approaching the years ahead

Chapters measured in years
Distances covered in seconds
A life behind two eyes
A lifetime in between.....

Mumbai - First Taste

- Traffic goes from Borivali to Churchgate in morning and naturally returns in the evening.
- Unfortunately I gotta travel "with" the traffic and not against it.....
- In a train I would always smell sweat..... not mine....
- Morning ride in train..... its better to be burned alive!
- People walk a lot...... "just next signal" turns out to be 2.5 kms away......
- There is very little time to enjoy the dough one makes.....
- So much time travelling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- Women in first class would bite off the head of anybody who gets on without the pass/ ticket...
- The act of getting on/ off a train can be fine tuned through practice so that one doesnt get
mauled.
- Heartfelt gesture - offering a foohold to someone in a crowded local.
- Women love to pretend sleeping while travelling.

On closely looking at the apparent chaos.... I realise there are patterns in everything..... from the queues that form automatically on the basis of the ppl getting off to finding bai's who are ready to work in wee hours of morning..... mumbai is always on the move..... new roads are constantly being made.... the old ones are changing too...... there is talk of an A/C train too......

I am now a part of the maddening crowd...... lost in the sea of faces......

First Sunday

Never thought I'd move to Mumbai in rains........ given my earlier feelings on mumbai and rains both......

But it feels alright as of now...... never thought would have a place that doesn't feel like a pigeon hole..... that reminds me... we got pigeons... lots..... outside the kitchen window... outside the bedroom window.... er... we have only two more windows left (remember this is a mumbai flat)......anyways back to the pigeons..... these guys are not ur regular pigeons who would get scared and take off in an instant... even banging on the windows has zero effect.....they have clearly told me that they consider me the intruder and not the other way round..... and if i have a problem with them .... well too bad. For they will not leave...

S & I peered over one window to find two small white eggs.... can't describe the feeling but yeah now we've got company and we've accepted that.....

Anyhow..... our first sunday is here...S wants to sleep the entire day :(

Lets see what we do.....for tomorrow the madness begins.....